“Change is the only constant in life” -Heraclitus
While change is something that is always happening, the last two years have brought such a turn for me, which I can’t help but reflect on. I wouldn’t quite call it 180°… 120° or 130° maybe? Anyway, I’m convinced that my younger self wouldn’t be able to recognize, and would possibly despise the person I am now. I’ve managed to find myself saying, doing, wearing and various-other-verbs-ing things I never dreamed I would. You are ever-evolving product to the enzymatic reaction that is life. They say you come across people, who provide such a catalyst in your life, that you, the substrate, never quite the same after meeting them. I have these people to thank, more than anyone else for the improved me, inside and out.
Thank you to the ones who were always honest, who saw and pointed out the flaws I refused to acknowledge. I’ve learned no matter how good you get at anything, there’s always room for improvement.
Thank you to those who made me feel pretty, who made me feel wanted, who boosted my self esteem. I learned to believe you, and more importantly I learned to believe in myself.
Thank you to those who helped me jump the hurdles, who were a helping hand, providers of kind words, or just a listening ear. You showed me that there is no shame in asking for help, and that weakness is only temporary, and all too human.
Thank you, to the ones who knocked me down, who made me feel insignificant. You helped me learn to always keep my feet on the ground, and gave me the drive to prove you wrong.
Of all the people above, no one can guarantee who will stay, and who will leave after playing their vital part in the reaction. Some are harder to let go of than others. There are times where I’ve thought that without them I wouldn’t feel the same about myself. Some people come in your life as blessings some come in your life as lessons. But we, the result of the change, cannot go back.
I wasn’t yet done scrutinizing, when the reflection before me transformed. I see a two year younger version of myself; an awkward, nervous face, unruly hair tied back in a ponytail. For a second I tried to make her disappear, cringing at the memory, as though facing someone I wish I never knew. My conscience made me pause however, and I faced her once more and chuckled.
I have learned that though I am far, far away from being perfect, I am better than I was. Though I box away the bad, the ugly and the less-than-desirable,my room for improvement and the good is a space I shall continue trying to fill.