“Why so quiet?”

redvelvetjacket

“Talk.”

“About?”

“Anything.”

“But I have nothing to say.”

Quiet because I don’t feel like a part of your conversations anymore. Quiet because I have seen you talking animatedly with someone else and when it comes to me, you’re busy playing games on your phone. Quiet because I really don’t have anything to say. Quiet because a person who I love immensely  made me question the things that come out of my mouth and now I’m afraid of saying them. Quiet because of the mistakes I made. Quiet because I don’t want to hear myself lie over and over again. Quiet because I don’t know who I am anymore.

Lost. Confused. Scared.

The hurt has silenced me, my friend, and it isn’t going away.

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Change and Other Clichés

Looking in the mirror, I reapplied my lipstick, ran my hand through my hair a final time, now satisfied.

“Change is the only constant in life” -Heraclitus

While change is something that is always happening, the last two years have brought such a turn for me, which I can’t help but reflect on. I wouldn’t quite call it 180°… 120° or 130° maybe? Anyway, I’m convinced that my younger self wouldn’t be able to recognize, and would possibly despise the person I am now. I’ve managed to find myself saying, doing, wearing and various-other-verbs-ing things I never dreamed I would.