At Face Value.

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I take things too seriously, even when I shouldn’t. Initially, at least. It’s a flaw, I know. I look for depth in everything, though it may not necessarily be there. Frustratingly this most likely classes me as a “touchy” person, among my acquaintances.

It’s not the receiving part, but my reciprocation that concerns me. “Dil pe na lou” or ” Don’t take it to heart” are phrases I hear all too often. Though I may be able to control my words, my composure (or lack, thereof) and facial expression tend to betray me.

To borrow a few words;

“It is a terrible thing to be so open; it is as if my heart put on a face and walked into the world. “

And honestly, that’s what it feels like. It adds an element of vulnerability to one’s character. A brief bout of irrational anger can lead to a lifetime of regret. A pang of embarrassment could mean defeat in front of a tormenting foe. Momentary pain is given away as weakness. I lack a poker face.

It has one silver lining too, I suppose. I am forever compelled to tell the truth, which I find to be a great release. I can’t help that I feel, or maybe that I feel too much, but I’ve no hesitation in expressing it. I doubt this is something that’ll change.

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Author: emphadiate

Med student, chai lover, avid reader. Daydreamer extraordinaire. Slightly imbalanced.

14 thoughts on “At Face Value.”

  1. Woman! How do you do this? Every time i am amazed that how you give words to my thoughts and my beliefs. And the best part though I can relate, I in no way can write such a precise and well taut post!

  2. Such a lovely read. Brevity is your strong suit, I think I’ve told you that before. It’s always beautiful when you let your feelings bleed right out of that pen 🙂 And I hope that expressiveness never changes!

    I do miss the version with the pen & paper though. That sort of eccentricity is unparalleled.

  3. OH MY GOD! Your drawings are amazing! MashAllah you’re so talented, seriously, become an artist too (as a side thing) haha. AND THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I AM. IT’S LIKE WE’RE THE SAME PERSON. You know what I like people who are open and their facial expressions give them away! You know why? Because they’re sincere and trustworthy. They’re not fake. So before you feel down about it, just think of what a great thing it is to have people like that around. ❤

  4. A delightful read. I am wondering how did I miss it. As far as we have had all the interactions, I catched this thing about you, already. But know what? This is honesty. This is genuine nature. This is pure and beautiful soul. I am the same. But contrary, my face and my attitude would not usually let any one know even if I am fighting any trauma inside. Emotionally a strong person, I picture myself.
    But I believe in two things. Be honest, fully sincere & devoted in any relation or thing, OR just don’t do it all.
    This sincerity which your talks, attitude and face shows, represent how pure a heart you keep.
    Stay the same, your beautiful self and be strong. I’d like to take this opportunity & let you know, I LOVE HADIA. ( In capitals. ) I love her beautiful soul, her genuine honest nature & her purity. I believe the world is short of honestly good people. So we should let those few know who are around. Hence, here I said it.
    It is always a pleasure to read from your side.
    Keep penning.
    Much love.
    – H.

  5. What a beautiful, genuine and honest person yopu are!
    Every single word showed the sincere nature. The drawing is amazing.

  6. Quite the point. It’s like that with me…I can never contain emotions. It all just shows on my face. And I know people can see with the looks they pass.
    But then, contrary to you, I feel compelled to hide the truth, to not say anything at all.
    Anyway, I loved this.
    Very beautifully done.
    :))

  7. AT FACE VALUE!! I was like is the Doc gonna talk business here 😀 nicely done…. Khair being an open book it’s a bliss and a curse but I guess it’s better this way,
    good luck playing poker though 😉

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