I take things too seriously, even when I shouldn’t. Initially, at least. It’s a flaw, I know. I look for depth in everything, though it may not necessarily be there. Frustratingly this most likely classes me as a “touchy” person, among my acquaintances.
It’s not the receiving part, but my reciprocation that concerns me. “Dil pe na lou” or ” Don’t take it to heart” are phrases I hear all too often. Though I may be able to control my words, my composure (or lack, thereof) and facial expression tend to betray me.
To borrow a few words;
“It is a terrible thing to be so open; it is as if my heart put on a face and walked into the world. “
And honestly, that’s what it feels like. It adds an element of vulnerability to one’s character. A brief bout of irrational anger can lead to a lifetime of regret. A pang of embarrassment could mean defeat in front of a tormenting foe. Momentary pain is given away as weakness. I lack a poker face.
It has one silver lining too, I suppose. I am forever compelled to tell the truth, which I find to be a great release. I can’t help that I feel, or maybe that I feel too much, but I’ve no hesitation in expressing it. I doubt this is something that’ll change.